Thursday, October 02, 2003

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Wednesdays, as usual, is our movie night. We always go and watch the latest movie that's out (which is usually 2 months behind anyway). Last night it was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's a story of some heroes ganging up together to fight a badass who wants world domination. The good guys consists of Allan Quartermain, Capt. Nemo, Mina Harker, Dorian Gray, Dr. Jekkyl (and Mr. Hyde), Rodney "The Invisible Man" Skinner and Tom Sawyer. Go check out classic literature and you'll find all these names. When I came out of the movie, I felt that they should change the title to the League of Extraordinary Stupidity. It was just a showcase for special effects. Storywise nothing made sense. At all.

Here's some examples of stupidity (that I bother to remember):
* Capt. Nemo's huqe-ass ship goes to London (by way of river Thames), then Paris (by way of river Seine), and then Venice (through the canals). This ship is as big as an oil-tanker. Going on a speedboat in those cities is difficult enough, let alone going in it with this huge-ass ship.
* From Paris to Venice, the ship sails on a huge ocean. Wrong! Get a map and you'll see that they have to go close to the coast and on to the Mediterranean Sea.
* Venice does not have roads where they can drive automobiles on.
* The automobile seems to go fast, but people can jump out of it and land still on their two feet.
* Mongolia is landlocked so it's a huge task to go there with that ship. And Mongolia does not have a freezing lake, because it's not that far up north. The UK is further up north than Mongolia.
* If it was freezing up there, how can Skinner walk around naked without getting frost bite.
* Mr. Hyde is not as big as pictured in this movie. He is the same size as Dr. Jekkyl.
* Using the train it takes less than 3 days to go from Paris to Venice, even back in 1899.
* The invisble man can hide in a small bubble-ship without being noticed. He is invisble, but he still takes space, does have a smell, and can be heard.
* There will be a sequel.

With movies like these, how can the kids of the future be educated properly. If you ask them "Who is Tom Sawyer" they will all go saying "Ooh, he's that cute American Special Agent who helped the Brits fight against some madman in 1899 using guns." No wonder the world is going down the drain.

"Pass me the joint"


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