Thursday, July 06, 2006

The FIFA 2006 World Cup so far, pt 2

Ok, more ramblings from me about the World Cup even though I said it's over for me. It is over for me, as I don't really care who wins it anymore (as long as it's not the French).

Here's what I think all 32 teams:

Angola: Didn't see enough of them.

Argentina: They were tournaments favourites and, according to the Guardian, had 5 mini-Maradonas (in Saviola, Messi, Tevez, Rodriguez and Riquelme). Then they had to play Germany where Pekerman then took a leaf out of Sven's coaching book and played it safe. Well, 5 mini-Maradonas won't help you beat Germany on penalties playing in Germany.

Australia: That's how you're supposed to play football. With passion and with Guus Hiddink. Very unfortunate penalty against Italy.

Brasil: They thought they have won the World Cup before the tournament started. We thought they have won the World Cup before the tournament started. Ronaldo just thought about eating. Nike need to change their Joga Bonito adverts now. Especially the one about Ronaldo.

Costa Rica: Scored twice against Germany and then went home.

Ivory Coast: Could have done better but in a pool with Holland and Argentina it's just very very hard and unfortunate.

Croatia: They will always be remembered as the team who had Josep Simunic given 3 yellow cards by Graham Poll in the 2006 World Cup.

Czech Republic: Looked like doing the business but then failed to qualify from the second Group of Death (the first one being Group C obviously).

Ecuador: Did well by qualifying and gave a lot of Scotsmen hope but then played absolutely rubbish against England. Unlucky they lost.

England: Bye bye Sven. He has taught the world how to play absolutely rubbish football using the best players available. Lots of us can't do that even if we try (and being paid 5m GBP per year). He will surely be missed.

France: Will Zizou's last game be a winning one? Or will Barthez fuck it up for his mate?

Germany: For the first time they played unlike Germany and Klinsmann is also very unGerman. They lost it the German way though against the Italians. Time to sing "Schande Deutschland, alles ist vorbei".

Ghana: The most successful African team in this World Cup. Not sure what the success was though.

Iran: Were they there?

Italy: 1970, they were in the final and lost. 1982, they were in the final and won. 1994, they were in the final and lost. 2006, they are in the final...

Japan: Had their 15-minutes of fame when they scored the first goal against Brazil. Until Brazil pounced them back to earth so hard that Hidetoshi Nakata decided to stop playing football for good.

South Korea: They had to keep up with Dick Advocaat. I pity them.

Saudi Arabia: Not sure what they were doing in Germany.

Mexico: Almost beat Argentina. Almost. Well, you don't win the World Cup with almost...

Netherlands: They should have won it. The best team by far. Robin van Persie was amazing. Boulahrouz shows the world how to make sure Cristiano Ronaldo doesn't dive anymore. Marco van Basten just oozes coolness. Damn you Valentin Ivanov!!!

Paraguay: A bit rubbish really.

Poland: See Paraguay.

Portugal: Bunch of diving cheats. Lucky they're out, I can sleep at night now without all that car-honking. And Cristiano Ronaldo needs to be kicked by Boulahrouz again. And again. And again.

Serbia & Montenegro: We will remember them as the team who Argentina scored that wonderful 24-passes goal against.

Spain: Magnificent in the pool games and then as usual bottles it in the knock-out stages. Why did Raul play is still beyond me.

Sweden: Beenhakker said it best, Lagerback does not have an imagination.

Switzerland: During their last game I only heard one noise, when Zuberbuhler saved Shevchenko's penalty. After that utter silence.

Togo: They've been bickering about the win bonus but they could have saved a lot of time and hassle because they didn't win anything.

Trinidad & Tobago: For 85 minutes most of the world were wanting them to win it against the English. Unfortunately God had other ideas than to entertain the thought of the majority of the world.

Tunisia: They need to learn that football lasts 90 minutes and not less.

Ukraine: In 1986 Maradona won the World Cup almost single-handedly with Argentina. Shevchenko though of doing the same but he isn't Maradona.

USA: U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! What? Are they out? When?


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